幽默英语演讲稿

演讲稿可以按照用途、性质等来划分，是演讲上一个重要的准备工作。在学习、工作生活中，越来越多人会去使用演讲稿，怎么写演讲稿才能避免踩雷呢？以下是简历文库小编为大家整理的幽默英语演讲稿，希望对大家有所帮助。

幽默英语演讲稿 篇1

A friend of mine named Paul received an automobile from his brother as a Christmas present.On Christmas Eve when Paul came out of his office, a street urchin was walking around the shiny new car, admiring it.

"Is this your car, Mister?" he said.

Paul nodded."My brother gave it to me for Christmas." The boy was astounded."You mean your brother gave it to you and it didn’t cost you nothing? Boy, I wish ..." He hesitated.

Of course Paul knew what he was going to wish for.He was going to wish he had a brother like that.But what the lad said jarred Paul all the way down to his heels.

"I wish," the boy went on, "That I could be a brother

like that."

Paul looked at the boy in astonishment, then impulsively he added, "Would you like to take a ride in my car?"

"Oh yes, Id love that."

After a short ride, the boy turned with his eyes aglow, said, "Mister, would you mind driving in front of my house?"

Paul smiled a little.He thought he knew what the lad wanted.He wanted to show his neighbors that he could ride home in a big automobile.But Paul was wrong again."Will you stop where those two steps are?" the boy asked.

He ran up the steps.Then in a little while Paul heard him coming back, but he was not coming fast.He was carrying his little crippled brother.He sat him down on the bottom step, then sort of squeezed up against him and pointed to the car.

"There she is, Buddy, just like I told you upstairs.His brother gave it to him for Christmas and it didn’t cost him a cent.And some day Im gonna give you one just like it ...then you can see for yourself all the pretty things in the Christmas windows that Ive been trying to tell you about."

Paul got out and lifted the lad to the front seat of his car.The shining-eyed older brother climbed in beside him and the three of them began a memorable holiday ride.That Christmas Eve, Paul learned what Jesus meant when he said: "It is more blessed to give ..."

幽默英语演讲稿 篇2

A Boy with a Big Head "Don't listen to them," his mother said, "You have a beautiful head.Now stop crying and go to the store to buy twenty pounds of patotoes." "Where is the shopping bag?" "I haven't got one-use your hat

I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan."Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother."I'd know him any where," said Ivan."I have his ear in my pocket."

A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy."

幽默英语演讲稿 篇3

Good evening ,Ladies and Gentlemen:

Thank you very much for choosing to come in such a cold night.Today my topic is about choice and process.A research shows that a man has to make 73 choices one day.With so many choices one day, people easily get so confused and afraid of making wrong choice that they hesitate and finally miss the true part of life.In my opinion, the following part is of much more importance than the choice.There is no absolute right or wrong choice but wonderful or boring life, which the process makes the difference.

Life is a box of chocolate,you never know what you will get.Forrest Gump made no decision by and for himself but he accomplished great success with his strong will in the process.The process is not the road itself but the attitudes and feelings ,the caution, courage and persistance we have as we encounter new experience and unexpected obstacles.Take myself as an example, I changed my major when I became a postgraduate.After the choice,days have been harsh for me.I cannot understand the new lessons at all.For they are closely related to mathmatics which I learned nothing about before.However wuth the belief that this is the great chance for me to experience new ideas and challenge myself,I persisted.I asked for help from every channel and reorgonized my life.Gradually I could understand some parts and even found maths interesting.Moreover, I learned to act instead of complaining.In retrospect,the choice left no trace in my mind but the happiness and bitterness of the past four months becomes an unforgetable experience in my life.

NO matter what the choice is, enjoy the process.In the process, your potential will be inspired and new discoveries,improvement and progress will come to you.These are the most beautiful sceneries and only on the way can you see it.These make your life colorful.

There is no need and I donnot want to judge whether it right or wrong for me to be here,but I congratulate to myself for I gain and enjoy this fantastic experience.So my dear friends,never worry about your choice and enjoy the process.I am sure you will get something new and intersting tonight after you chose to come here.

Thank you!

幽默英语演讲稿 篇4

I will not elaborate on this appearance， the street， just grab a person will have and I know。 Character fortunately， the doctrine of the mean is my ideal， but under the social reality force， often make some left leaning and right leaning things and cause I don't have much success， in addition to find me some very tempting fate of friends， I feel oneself is still very lonely。 But only those who are on the high will feel lonely， with my own emptiness and loneliness， which is nothing to do with the young people。

I deeply feel that their own good， so I determined the good are well rewarded， because I have no intention of good deeds I won many friends， the feeling is God's gift， but sometimes I feel very ruthless， especially to see able—bodied， able—bodied beggars， I strongly pretended not to see。

As a boy， I very want to skin， is to face， and a bit overboard， may my skin especially thick， so it is particularly important to face， can not let my skin a little damage。

Ha ha！ Almost， this person is very simple， not a big man， not too much to say。

幽默英语演讲稿 篇5

Dick wearing a pair of new trousers went together with his father to his aunt's house.At the sight of the boy's new trousers,his aunt admired very much and kissed him favorably.In front of the boy, there were many nice cakes and chocolates.His cousin also took out all his toys and played with him.The boy enjoyed a good day there.

While he went back home with his father, he was so joyful that he sang and danced along the way home.suddenly he slipped and fell into the mud and his trousers got very dirty.

When he got home, his mother saw his dirty trousers and said:

"Oh,what a mess! This is not the first time you come home like that , and this time you are wearing your new trousers!"

"I am sorry,mum,"said Dick."But I had no time to take my new trousers off when I fell down."

幽默英语演讲稿 篇6

Matt and his wife lived in the country.Matt was very stingy and hated spending money.One day a fair came to the nearby town.

"Let’s go to the fair, Matt," his wife said."We haven’t been anywhere for a long time."

Matt thought about this for a while.He knew he would have to spend money at the fair.At last he said, "All right, but I’m not going to spend much money.We’ll look at things, but we won’t buy anything."

They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy.There were many things Matt’s wife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.

Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane.

"Fun flights!" the notice said, " $$ 10 for 10 minutes.

Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight.However, he didn’t want to have to pay for his wife, as well.

"I’ve only got $$ 10, " he told the pilot."Can my wife come with me for free?" The pilot wasn’t selling many tickets, so he said, "I’ll make a bargain with you.If your wife doesn’t scream or shout, she can have a free flight."

Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.

The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things.At one moment it was flying upside down.

When the plane landed, the pilot said, "0.K.your wife didn’t make a sound.She can have her ride free."

"Thank you," Matt said."It wasn’t easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out."

幽默英语演讲稿 篇7

The hours of a wise man are lengthened by his ideas as those of a fool are by his passions.The time of the one is long, because he does not know what to do with it; as is that of the other, because he distinguishes every moment of it with useful or amusing thoughts, or in other words, because the one is always wishing it away, and the other always enjoying it.

How different is the view of past life, in the man who is grown old in knowledge and wisdom, from that of him who is grown in ignorance and folly? The latter is like the owner of a barren country, that fills his eye with the [1] prospect of naked hills and plains, which produce nothing either profitable or [2] ornamental; the other [3] beholds a beautiful and spacious landscape, divided into delightful gardens, green meadows, fruitful fields, and can scarce [4] cast his eye upon a single spot of his possessions, that is not covered with some beautiful plant or flower.

幽默英语演讲稿 篇8

Mary was an English girl, but she lived in Rome.She was six years old.Last year her mother said to her, “You’re six years old now, Mary, and you’re going to begin going to a school here.You’re going to like it very much, because it’s a nice school.”

“Is it an English school” Mary asked.” Yes, it is,” her mother said.Mary went to the school, and enjoyed her lessons.Her mother always took her to school in the morning and brought her home in the afternoon.Last Monday her mother went to the school at 4 o’clock, and Mary ran out of her class.“We’ve got a new girl in our class today, Mummy,” she said.“She’s six years old too, and she’s very nice, but she isn’t English.She’s German.” “Does she speak English” Mary’s mother asked.” No, but she laughs in English,” Mary said happily.

幽默英语演讲稿 篇9

love your mother

why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom?

"because i'm a woman," she told him.

"i don't understand," he said.

his mom just hugged him and said,

"and you never will, but that's o.k.".......

later the little boy asked his father,

"why does mom seem to cry for no reason?".

"all women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say......

the little boy grew up and became a man,

still wondering why women cry.

finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked "god, why do women cry so easily?"

god answered......

"when i made woman,

i decided she had to be special.

i made her shoulders

strong enough to carry

the weight of the world, yet,

made her arms gentle enough to give comfort...

i gave her the inner strength

to endure childbirth

and the rejection

that many times will come

even from her own children.

i gave her a hardness

that allows her

to keep going and take care

of her family and friends,

even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without

complaining....

i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances.even when her child has hurt her badly....

she has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears....

i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults

and i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....

i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....

幽默英语演讲稿 篇10

Earn english not only because of its importance and its usefulness,but also because of my love for it.when i learn english, i can feel a different way of thinking which gives me more room to touch the world.when i read english novels,i can feel the pleasure from the book which is different from reading the translation.when i speak english, i can feel the confident from my words.when i write english,i can see the beauty which is not the same as our chinese...

I love english,it gives me a colorful dream.i hope i can travel around the world one day.with my good english, i can make friends with many people from different contries.i can see many places of great intrests.i dream that i can go to london,because it is the birth place of english.

I also want to use my good english to introduce our great places to the english spoken people,i hope that they can love our country like us.

I know, rome was not built in a day.i believe that after continuous hard study, one day i can speak english very well.if you want to be loved, you should learn to love and be lovable.so i believe as i love english everyday , it will love me too.

I am sure that i will realize my dream one day!

Thank you!